Kiss Me Again
by Ashura
Summary: Shounen ai (1+2). That one thing even more wondrous than first-time lemons...a first kiss.


Kiss

Kiss Me Again

by Ashura

for Saishi

disclaimer:mine.all mine.yeah right.

notes:yaoi, sorta citrusy, though no sex...it may look at first like Heero is OOC, but I don't think he is, I think he's very Heero, just a different side than the one we usually get to see.

****

I've been trying not to stare at him for over an hour.

That's how long we've been here, setting up, starting repairs.He's crawled up inside the Deathscythe, swinging on things, hanging from them; half his tools are stuck in his belt and the other half in his hair.There are things unfinished between us, and he knows it as well as I do, but if he does not let it distract him from his work, how could I do differently?

After all, I'm supposed to be the serious one.So I'm setting up surveillance, checking security, making sure we are as safe here as we seem to be.But my mind keeps drifting.We had just landed--we won, of course, but it seemed that he hadn't been so sure of our victory as I had.He sailed up to me as I dropped to the ground, and swung me around, and--and kissed me.

It surprised me, that's for sure.I guess I always kind of thought that Relena would be my first kiss.It's not even that I have any real insistent desire to, but she likes me, and I've always been led to understand that if you're a boy, you're supposed to kiss a girl if she likes you.Shows what I know.

I don't know, in all honesty, if he really even saw it was me he was kissing.I think it was just an extension of his exhilaration and the adrenaline pounding through his blood; probably he would have kissed whoever had been standing right where I was at that moment, just to prove he was still alive.It's nothing to worry about, then.He's not getting attached, and neither am I.

But if that's the case, why do I feel a little disappointed every time I tell myself that's all it was?I keep dragging the memory out, turning it over, analysing it again, as if I'm hoping that I'll find some hint that he meant it after all, that it really was me he was seeing.

After a while I start to wonder if maybe he's not as unaffected as I thought.He's either stalling, or a hopelessly inefficient mechanic.I suppose he's really just giving me what he thinks I want--to forget about the whole thing and think of nothing but the mission.

Come on...I know I put on a good show and all, but even I can't think mission perametres /all/ the time.My brain would melt.And I'm really getting tired of sitting here dwelling on this all by myself.I'm going to ask him about it, since it's become apparent he won't be the one to bring it up.

"Duo."I can't see him, but I know where he is--I can hear him, incoherent mumbles consisting mostly of profanity and the occasional thump of a hammer echoing inside gundanium plates.A moment after I call his name he appears, his head poking out of a hole in a rather unfortunate part of the Deathscythe's anatomy. 

"What's up?" He sounds cheerful enough, but tired.

"I want to talk to you."I see his expression darken at that, worry-lines creasing his forehead before he nods, pushing his hair back from his eyes.

"Sure thing, Heero.Let me finish this up and I'll be right down."

It takes him one minute, twenty-seven seconds to finish the job.I wonder how long he would have been at it if I hadn't distracted him.All night maybe.He drops to the ground, puts away the rest of the tools, and brushes his hands off on his black jeans as he approaches.His braid swings behind him, careless, as if it is just as relaxed as the rest of him seems to be.

I have a can of chili cooking over the Coleman gas stove.I wasn't sure at first if we should use it, but it's rained here recently and everything is still damp enough I think it's all right.He spreads his jacket on the dirt and flops down onto it."What's on your mind, Heero?"

I stir the chili.It means I don't have to look at him when I make a total idiot of myself."I've been thinking about when you kissed me."

He's guarded, wary--he was expecting it, I think, for all he pretended he didn't."Yeah, well, I was excited.Sorry about that."

"It's all right," I tell him honestly."I didn't mind.I just...wanted to ask you about it."

When I look back at him, I notice a difference.The masks are gone--it's such a subtle change, that if I hadn't made such a practice of watching him over the last few hours, I don't think I would have noticed.But he's too tired to keep up the facade. It's been a long day for both of us.

"Okay," he says.He hunches forward, his chin on his hands, his cap pulled down over his eyes, chewing absently on the end of his braid."Shoot."

Now I have the audience I wanted, and no real idea what I'm trying to ask.Fortunately, chili has to be stirred pretty much constantly or it sticks to the pot."Did you mean it?"

A suspicious-sounding cough draws my attention back to him, to his face.Behind his hair and the brim of his cap I can see one bright violet eye glinting at me.He smiles wearily, and counters--"Did you want me to?"

Now that's not fair.I'm the one who's supposed to be asking the hard questions."I don't know."He waits, watching me, as if he's expecting more, so I add, "Nobody's ever kissed me before."

"Ah."My confusion now seems to make a little more sense to him."Did it bother you?"

"Not--not exactly."I am not yet ready to admit the sort of 'bothered' the kiss had made me, how my traitorous body had taken leave of my hard-won control and pestered me with urges and feelings I barely understood and had no power over.

"Well then,"he continued, his voice still calm though I could see the impish twinkle in his beautiful eye, "did you like it?"

My fingers clench harder around the spoon."I--maybe--I--"

I never saw him move, but he's behind me now, his hand easing mine open as he slides the wooden spoon from my grasp."Easy, Heero, don't take it out on the supplies, you'll break it."It occurs to me that he speaks to me as if I were a wild animal, or a small child.It's both soothing and irritating at once.I need to remind him that I am neither, that I am a soldier and a young man, just as he is.I grab his collar and pull him against me.He yelps, surprised, before I cover his mouth with mine.

I'm probably not a good kisser, since I really don't know what I'm doing.Once he gets over being startled he seems ready enough to guide me--until he rips away, pushing me back, one hand in the centre of my chest, the other still clenching the spoon.

"Okay," he says, panting a little, as if he's out of breath."You're right, Heero, we definitely need to talk.Let's eat first, okay, and put the stove out, then we'll get this figured out."

I don't think he really knows what he's going to say or do any more than I do, and the food gives him time to consider his plans.I think I have already lost control of this situation, so I eat fast, and get the dinner things put away while he's still scraping the last bits from his bowl.

I take it from his hands and set it aside."It's empty."He nods, his expression wavering between expectant and confused as I kneel in front of him."Kiss me again."

His lips quirk in a smile--I love his smile, even though it sometimes makes me feel like he's keeping some secret from me that I will never understand."Are we experimenting?"

I think I'm blushing."Is that okay?"

Now I /know/ he's trying not to laugh at me.And not doing a very good job."Guess not...I'm game."He pulls me close.

We bump noses.I let out a startled noise, and Duo giggles.

"Come here."He's laughing, but I'm not so sure it really is at me.I think he's nervous, and that the whole scene is probably pretty funny when looked at objectively.He stretches out on the damp ground, so that he's lying down, and motions me to lie next to him."If we're going to do this, we should do it right...." he explains.He wraps his arms around me, holding me close against his body.I can feel the hard planes of his body against mine, and feel his hair tickling my skin as it falls across my back, and my body gets hot and tight and uncomfortable again.

"Relax, Heero," he murmurs into my hair.His breath is warm against my skin.His fingers trace the line of my jaw, and I'm wondering how exactly he thinks I'm supposed to accomplish such a task--I couldn't relax now if my life depended on it.His body is firm and wiry, he smells like the damp woods, and engine oil, and a little bit of sweat.His thumb brushes across my lower lip and I close my eyes; sight only obscures the sensation of his touch.

"You're shaking," he whispers, butI am sure I'm not the only one.I'm warm now, so warm, but not for all the world would I leave the circle of his arms.His fingers brush my temple and slide into my hair, and at last his soft lips meet mine.Gentle now, not quite the vibrant kiss of earlier in the day, but equally ecstatic in its own way--his tongue caresses my lips and slips between them, tickling almost playfully at the roof of my mouth.Fumbling, I follow his lead, my own tongue exploring and duelling with his.I hear a muffled moan, but I am not sure which of us it escaped from.My hands clench in his shirt, but his have more freedom, they roam over my back and down my sides, awakening my body to fire.

His arms tighten around me and he rolls, bearing me above him, clinging to me while I adjust myself to straddle him.My body still refuses to listen to my instructions, the difference now is that I have ceased to give them.I have surrendered, though I'm not sure to who or what.When I have balance at last, Duo's fingers loosen and stroke down my cheeks, lifting my face reluctantly away from his.

"Well?" He tries to sound impish, but he's as breathless as I am.

"I liked it," I confess, once I can convince my tongue to form words again.

He chuckles, brushing his finger across my lips once more."Yeah, I kinda guessed that.So did I."

His cap fell off a long time ago.Wisps of chestnut hair escape the confinement of his braid to coil around his face, fringed with dirt because despite his jacket we're mostly lying on the ground.His face is flushed, and his eyes are shining as he looks up at me, meets my gaze.

There is only one thing I know for sure to say, so I do.

"Kiss me again."

~Owari~


End file.
